Sea Of Love
by CileSuns92
Summary: One shot. A day in the life of the Shepherd family, a few years from now, from a peculiar point of view.


**Hello there, readers! Merry Christmas!**

**This is not a Christmas-themed one shot, but it's a one shot I decided to publish on Christmas Eve because you guys deserve it. I've been an awful writer lately, and you deserved a little gift, in the spirit of the holidays.  
**

**It is most likely in my usual style of writing, just from another point of view. It's simple, it's about family, it's not going to go anywhere further. It's just there.  
**

**Of course I don't own the characters (though I shaped little Bailey like I wanted him to be), I'm just borrowing them for my own fun. Title is taken from the same song I quoted, contained in the new The National's album, _Trouble Will Find Me_.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Sea Of Love**

* * *

_Hey Joe, sorry I hurt you, but they say love is a virtue don't they?_

* * *

When I hop in the kitchen, everything looks as it should be on a normal morning; except it's not quite normal.

Mama is staring at her cup of coffee absentmindedly, her fingers gripping the spoon fiercely as it turns and turns her favorite black liquid, her eyes unfocused.

Daddy is standing over the stove, the pancakes sizzling in the butter and wafting a sweet aroma that contrasts sharply with the gloomy atmosphere of this Saturday morning.

"Secret honey?" Bailey asks excitedly from his seat opposite to Mama's. He's staring expectantly at his empty plate, urging Daddy to put something in it, his fork already in his fist, while he bounces up and down.

"It will be ready in a minute," Daddy says with his calm, rich voice, smiling curtly at Bailey. "Oh, hey ZoZo." He greets me, but his eyes don't sparkle, despite he's smiling at me.

"'Morning." I mumble, and Mama finally looks up from her coffee. Her eyes meet mine, and she forces out a smile. Instinctively, I sit next to her, and I avoid bugging Bailey like I usually do. It doesn't seem like the right morning to bicker with my brother.

Then I remember.

Last night, in between a dream of a far away castle and the ocean with palms Mama and Daddy promised me to see this summer, there were muffled shouts. There was an argument, and bad words had flown. Mama sounded just as angry as the time Bailey had spilled his soup all over the kitchen floor and stomped in it, almost burning his feet. Daddy growled a lot, and not in the nice way he did when he told us scary stories.

And now Mama and Daddy's eyes aren't sparkling anymore.

Daddy places a stack of two pancakes in front of me and Bailey, then three in front of Mama. She looks up briefly at him, but their eyes don't meet.

Mama sighs loudly, before passing the honey and cinnamon sauce to Bailey. He smirks, as he pours a big dollop on his breakfast. Now, my brother's eyes are wide and twinkling.

It's too quiet to be a Saturday morning, though.

"Daddy, we goin' fishing now?" Bailey asks, a part of his sentence lost as he chews on the pancakes, his blue eyes sparkling in the dim light of the kitchen. Clearly, he couldn't sense the tension in the room.

"I have to go to the hospital for a little while, Bay." He answers curtly, sitting next to him, his smile sad and apologetic. Mama looks up sharply at him, but her anger disappears just as quickly as she's able to divert her gaze.

"Okay." Bailey sighs deeply, resigned, because we know that Mama and Daddy have important jobs, even if sometimes we don't like it. Daddy kisses his mop of dirty blonde curls, before digging into his own stack of pancakes.

"I'll tell you what, we can go in the afternoon. I should be done by lunch." Daddy smiles brightly, and Bailey's face lights up. Mama's face softens too, and for a moment she doesn't look so sad anymore.

"I'll get the poles ready!" Bailey grins happily.

"Not so fast, mister." Mama stops him with a look, the look we both fear. "The playroom is a mess." She states, and her eyes flicker between me and my brother. "Clean it up with Zola or no fishing this afternoon."

"Meredith, -" Daddy interjects, but she glares at him, and the rest of his speech gets lost.

"Can we do something together too, Mama?" I ask shyly, and I see her warm gray eyes on me as soon as the words leave my lips.

"What do you want to do, Lovebug?"

I almost groan at the childish nickname, -I'm gonna be _seven_ in eight months!- but I let her get away with it. "Dunno, Mama." I admit.

"I'll tell you what, we can go to the aquarium with Bailey while Daddy is at work, then we drop him off at the hospital, and we'll go shopping together later. Just you and me." She smiles, and I feel like I could fly.

I nod eagerly, and she smiles even more widely, making me relax. My Mama is still there, somewhere; even when she looks tired and sad, she's still my Mama.

We finish breakfast as Bailey and Daddy discuss the possible trouts they're going to catch, Mama and I quietly listening.

"Go get dressed kids," she urges us as she stands up to clean up the table, and I see Daddy grabbing his briefcase from the chair at the door.

I decide to stack the plates and clean up a little of Bailey's mess instead of rushing to my room like my brother did, and Mama smiles encouragingly at me. I like that proud smile she gives me every time I do something good. Like when I brought home the first pottery vase we did for Mother's Day, and she almost cried, or when I can do right all my Maths homework.

"Thank you, Zola." She smiles gently, and I grin back, leaving the dishes in the sink.

"Meredith," Daddy calls Mama, and there's something different in the way her name rolls off his lips. Usually, it is soft and musical, and her whole body relaxes when Daddy says her name. Not this time.

"Drop it, Derek." She replies curtly, and his name is not velvety on her lips either.

"I'm sorry." Daddy says simply, moving closer to Mama and placing his big hand on the small of her back. Their bodies seem drawn closer like magnets, and when I pick up the Nutellaand I stretch to put it in the cupboard, I turn and Mama's shoulder is resting limply against Daddy's chest, almost as if he's the only thing keeping her up.

"I didn't mean to pick a fight with you last night." Daddy hums, and their bodies mold and relax, as Mama turns imperceptibly towards him.

Their voices drop to whispers I can't hear, but they're not angry whispers, just whispers of something I'm not meant to hear. I put the last empty glass in the sink, and I disappear to my room. I dress quickly, throwing on my favorite sweater and wearing my most comfortable jeans, then I tiptoe back to the living room.

"I didn't suggest the new shunt to fix her, you know that, right?" Daddy whispers, as I overhear their conversation sneakily from my favorite corner.

"Derek, she changed her shunt last year and she had a crazy high fever for two days afterward. Do you honestly believe you're ready to see her back in that bed again only for a stupid trial?" Mama's voice hardens, and Daddy sighs.

I know they're talking about me, because whenever the word 'shunt' pops up it's always about me. And that week I spent at the hospital last year had been all but pleasant.

"Let other surgeons do these trials. We don't need to fix Zola, she's already perfect on her own." Mama urges, and Daddy's face softens, his eyes warm and blue like the ocean.

"Of course she is perfect, I know that, and you're right. It's just..."

"I know. I always stop and read about trials too, but she doesn't need it. She can do everything she sets her mind onto. She's smart, she's stubborn, she's kind."

"She's a lot like you, Meredith." Daddy smiles brightly, and even though I can't see Mama's face, I know she's smiling too. I am smiling. I like to be like my Mama, because my Mama knows how to hug me when I'm sad, she knows how to make things right when they are not, and she is really, really pretty and smart. I'm glad I can be a little like my Mama.

"She's happy Derek. It's all I have wanted her to be. Let's not complicate our life with more."

Daddy hums again, that sound that is happy and soothing, and Mama buries her nose in that spot of his neck where his scratchy stubble is softand her nose fits perfectly, just like mine. It is the perfect spot to rest your face and feel safe, because nothing seems to get you in Daddy's arms, and Mama seems to know that secret spot just as well as I know it.

"You don't mind coming to the hospital to drop off Bailey today? We can meet in the city." Daddy trails off, his voice getting lost between Mama's hair as his lips leave a gentle kiss on the crown of her head.

"'s okay," she mumbles in his sweater, then Mama lifts up her eyes and meets Daddy's. Daddy smiles broadly. "I need to buy a new dress for that hospital fundraiser thingie; Zola's gonna love coming with me to buy expensive clothes." Mama giggles, and my eyes widen.

_I. Can't. Wait! Pretty dresses, here we come!_

I'm not so sneaky anymore when I'm excited, because I see Daddy smiling amused at me, and Mama giggles as well, the look they exchange bright once again as they discover my hiding spot.

"You look excited." Mama states, and I almost make a duh face because seriously, who wouldn't be excited to shop for pretty dresses?

Daddy laughs, and we all laugh with him, until Bailey shows up with a puzzled face and his t-shirt back to front.

"Come here," Mama shakes her head, her smile lingering on her lips as she pulls up Bailey's t-shirt and makes him wear it right again, his head now a mess of curls sticking in all directions. Mama tries to ruffle them back the best she could, but we all know Bailey's hair is impossible to tame.

"So, I'll see you guys later." Daddy grins, his turn to settle Bailey's hair, then to place a sweet kiss on top of his head.

"Bye Daddy!" Bailey grins, as Daddy moves towards me and picks me up in his strong arms. I wrap my legs around his torso and my arms behind his neck as he smacks my forehead loudly. I giggle at his silliness, but I'm happy he's smiling again. I like my Daddy's smile.

"Be a good girl for Mama today, okay?" He almost whispers in my ear, and I nod, turning to Mama to see her smile widely as she's still fussing over Bailey's choice of clothing.

"I'm gonna let her buy the prettiest dress, Daddy." I swear solemnly, and he kisses my cheek again.

"Blue or red." He winks, before settling me down.

Daddy is quick then to wrap his arm around Mama's midsection and bring her a step closer. His other hand brushes her cheek, before they are kissing. I close my eyes, because seriously, kissing? When their yucky moment is over, and Bailey and I have uncovered our eyes, Daddy is chuckling, while Mama is hugging him tightly again.

"I love you, Mere." He whispers, even more quietly than he did with me.

"Even when you hate me." Mama replies, amused, her fingers fixing his curls much like she did with Bailey's. "I love you too."

I roll my eyes when they kiss again, and I'm glad it's quick, because I really wanna go to the aquarium now. If we let them be they could kiss for hours, and then we'd never get to see the fishes.

"Zo, can we see the sharks today?" Bailey asks, his blue eyes twinkling in anticipation.

"I think so. There are fishes that look like Nemo too." I state proudly, because I have been to the aquarium already, and his mouth opens in surprise. It's cool to be older sometimes, especially when I can surprise my little brother.

"What about jellyfishies?" He asks, giggling.

"They're yucky and slimy." I cringe, and he laughs now.

"I'm gonna make ya touch a jellyfish! I'm gonna make ya touch a jellyfish!" He chants, and I groan. This is when it's bad being a big sister.

"Stop teasing your sister, Bay." Daddy smiles softly, before he waves goodbye and disappears behind the door.

It took me a while to understand that after disappearing behind the front door, Daddy would always come back. It seemed like an eternity before he came home, but an entire day has always seemed like a long time. Now I can't wait for the days to pass until I'm ten years old. Ten is such a pretty number.

"Are you kids ready?" Mama turns toward us, her arms wrapped around herself, almost as if she's trying to keep Daddy's warmth close to her now that he's gone to work.

Bailey nods, and he's already going for his shoes, when Mama reminds us about the playroom to clean up and the breakfast dishes she still has to put in the dishwasher. Bailey scoff, and drags his feet towards the playroom, but I'm just as reluctant to pick up toys. What's the point, after all? We're going to be using them tonight all over again, and I like not to have to drag my dolls to the tea table all the time when I let them have tea with meor we pretend to be in school.

I shrug as I watch Bailey pick up his cars and throw them in the big blue box labeled with his name, then he launches the construction tools and blocks in the green drawer in the middle, the one for the toys we can both use. I put my dolls on the shelf, settling their pretty dresses, then I put aside the coffee and tea cups, the potholders and the pans in my purple drawer.

"Can I keep the tower?" Bailey asks me, eying the Lego tower he had built the night before, while we were waiting for Mama to get home.

"It's a pretty tower. We can make another one tonight." I shrug, and he grins at me, in the same way Mama always says looks like Daddy's, but I really can't see my Daddy in my little brother.

"Done!" He exclaims, throwing his arms in the air in victory and grinning broadly.

"Let's go see if Mama is done too." I suggest, and he skips ahead of me quickly.

Mama is waiting for us with our rain jackets and our shoes lined up at the door, ready for our expedition. I grin as we all climb into the car, buckle up, and head off to the city.

It's so nice to have Mama all for us, since it's not so often that she has a whole day when she doesn't have to be at the hospital. It is fun to go and see her and Daddy surgeon people, but sometimes it is also boring to wait for her to finish a surgery when Daddy is busy too, and we end up spending our time with one of the interns. They're not really bright, Mama is right. I kinda like to hang around Stephanie and Shane though, they're Daddy and Mama's students, and they always know how to make me and Bailey laugh until tears.

"Are we there, yet?" Bailey asks, as always. No matter if it's a ten minute ride to the store or the cross-country road trip we'd have to make to go to Grandma's house, he will always ask, five minutes into the trip. And Mama always smirks through the rear-view mirror.

"No Bay, we're not there yet." She always replies, and Bailey laughs loudly. My baby brother can be really silly sometimes. Mama says he gets it from Daddy, and I think I have to agree with her this time.

Bailey keeps asking all kinds of questions about the aquarium and the fishes as Mama drives, and she answers with a smile to each one. I think I remember the aquarium from the last time we went there, but Bailey probably doesn't.

When Mama parks the car, Bailey is already bouncing in his car seat, and I unbuckle him before he hurts himself as we wait for Mama to open the door for us. We grab Bailey's hands together, and we walk quickly to buy the tickets. There's not a line, so in five minutes we're already heading to see the tanks.

I walk around the building trying to remember the fishes I saw last time, but they all seem new and prettier, and I can't help but ask the same silly questions Bailey asks.

Mama explains us the fishes we can see in the rooms reading the tags next to each tank, and she even pushes me to read a couple. I stutter a little when the octopus comes up, but she grins proudly as I spell it correctly. She keeps quizzing me on things we read even afterward, as we let Bailey wander on his own a few steps away from us. Mama knows a lot of things on a lot of subjects, and I love to listen to her when she tells me all about them.

"You know, I saw real dolphins from a boat when I went to Europe?" She smiles, and her eyes seem to go somewhere else.

"You've seen dolphins from a boat?!" I echo, my eyes widening. "Bay, Mama has seen dolphins for real!" I call out for my brother, who runs back to us, equally surprised and ready for a story.

"I did." She nods, and we're pending from her lips now.

"Did they jump and shriek?" Bailey wonders, both of us huddling near our Mama as she smiles brightly.

"Oh yeah, but they didn't really make noises. They were beautiful." She grins. "They followed the boat where I was on for thirty minutes, jumping in and out of the water as our ferry moved along."

"Do we have dolphins here?" Bailey asks. "We gots the ferries."

"Oh, but the Mediterranean is a much warmer sea. Here we might have whales."

"They're so pretty..." I sigh, because I really love whales.

"Can we get a dolphin, Mama?" Bailey asks with his serious face.

Mama grins amused, but I have to agree with my brother, having a dolphin would be awesome. All my friends would be jealous if we got a dolphin pet.

"Where are we going to put a dolphin, Bay?" Mama asks, always so practical.

"In the lake Mama. Or we can dig a big, big, big pool for him."

"I see." She nods, her eyes shining with laughter. "Ask your Daddy, then."

"Can we buy the tiny dolphins at the shop now?" I ask, knowing that maybe I could get a stuffed toy out of this trip, if not a real, breathing dolphin in my backyard.

"I guess we can. Just one each, though."

Bailey had already took off, but I walked just a few steps ahead of Mama, thinking if it would be better a whale or a dolphin as a new companion for my dolls. In the end I pick up the whale, because Bailey picks the dolphin, so I know that when it will end up in the green box, I will be able to play with both plush toys. The cashier always smiles a tad to brightly to me and Bailey, in a way that makes me want to roll eyes at them. We're kids, not babies.

Mama has to carry Bailey to the car, exhausted from all the running around. He ends up falling asleep in the car, clutching his new dolphin, while I let my whale jump from the waves that the rain creates on the window of the car. My stomach rumbles loudly, and I giggle, while Mama smiles brightly, winking at me. She parks her car in the usual spot, next to Daddy's, then we all head on the other side of the street to eat at Joe's, the best place for burgers in the whole wide word. McDonald's can't really compete with Joe's.

"Howdy little brood!" Joe greets us, and I giggle at his wide smile.

"Hey Joe, do you have a booth?" Mama asks politely, nudging a still sleepy Bailey on her shoulder.

"The little guy looks tired." Joe grins, as he leads us to a quiet table.

"We went to the aquarium." Mama explains, and he grins even brighter.

"Boys will be boys. Mine are almost teenagers now, but they used to do the same." He smirks. "Zola, you look an inch taller every time I see you."

I blush and shrug, hiding in my shoulders. "I bet Derek is already swearing off boyfriends." Joe chuckles and my Mama laughs with him. I frown and bury my head in the menu, glad that now I can try to read it as a distraction. It is not tricky, because I already know what I want, but Mama says that if I want to read well I need to practice every time I have the chance to.

"The usual, Joe." Mama orders, and smiles at Bailey who is now more awake and rubbing the sleep off his eyes. "It's time to eat, Bay. Don't be too sleepy, or Daddy won't be able take you fishing." At her words, Bailey's eyes snap open, and I share a giggle with Mama.

We eat quietly, as we talk about the aquarium once again, and Mama tells us even more stories of fishes, then at some point Daddy enters the bar and joins us, sitting between me and Mama. They kiss again as soon as he settles, but they do it quickly luckily, since Bailey is already telling Daddy all about the aquarium.

We show Daddy our new toys, and he compliments us on the pick, then I feel like I need to ask: "Did you see the dolphins too, with Mama?"

"You've seen dolphins?" He turns to Mama then, surprised, and I have my answer.

"When I was traveling between Italy and France. In the Mediterranean. I never told you that?"

"You haven't." He smiles so widely I'm almost sure they're about to kiss again. Gross.

"Can we get a dolphin?" Bailey drops quickly the request, and Daddy stares at him puzzled. "Mama said we I should ask you."

"She did, uh?" He looks at Mama amused now, laughter almost bubbling out of his lips, but I don't understand why it's so funny. Getting a dolphin is serious business.

Bailey nods. "We could put it in the lake or build a pool."

"Where do we buy a dolphin?"

Mama's eyebrows rise at Daddy's question, while Bailey looks suddenly certain of an answer I don't know myself. "At the grocery store, Daddy." He shrugs then, almost as if it would be obvious. They have everything we need, so I guess he's probably right, we could buy a dolphin at the store if we order it or something.

Mama and Daddy burst into laughter, their eyes almost leaking tears, as I stare at my brother with an unsure expression. Both of us didn't get the joke; apparently it was a grown-up thing. They do have these things they laugh at, and we never understand why.

"We can't buy dolphins, Bailey." Daddy states when he's not laughing anymore, a chuckle escaping him now and then. "They need to live free in the sea. We have trouts in the lake, though. They're pretty, and we can catch them and see them whenever we want."

Bailey looks sad, but he nods. I think I have to agree that maybe it's better for a dolphin to live in the sea rather than in a pool. So they can follow the ferries.

"Can we go see the trouts now?" Bailey asks, and since we are done with our lunch, Daddy nods.

He picks him up and puts him on his shoulders, then they leave, Bailey giggles as he puts his hands in Daddy's hair and Daddy asks him with a straight face: "Make an aerodynamic face Bay, so we can go faster."

They disappear through the door, making the bell over it ding twice, then I look back at my Mama, who is still smiling, and her eyes are almost green.

"Just you and me, ZoZo." Mama grins now, sliding closer to me. I snuggle a little against her side, and she sighs, wrapping her arm around my shoulder and dropping a kiss on top of my head.

"I like it when it's just you and me, Mama."

"I do too."

She kisses the top of my head again, then she leaves a few bills on the table and we get out from Joe's to get into the car. The ride is quicker this time, and before I know it, my hand is in Mama's and we're walking downtown, looking at window displays to find the pretty dress for Mama.

"Do you need shoes too, Mama?"

"Maybe. Let's just look around and see if there's something that we like, okay?"

I nod, and I watch dresses and cafes slide by us, until Mama stops at her favorite shop, and we get in.

The shop assistant greets us warmly, and I seem to recognize her, just like she does with us.

"I have to attend a cocktail dress banquet next Saturday and I was wondering if you have something suitable for that. I can't remember if it's black tie, but I have to present a new study with my husband and we're going to be a little in the spotlight." Mama rambles, and I start looking around the shop on my own.

I remember the advice Daddy had whispered in my ear, and I look for blue and red dresses only. And I can see the perfect one on a fake human in the corner.

"Mama!" I call out, and when she sees it, I can tell she likes it very much.

"That's really pretty;" she grins, running her hand on the blue silk-like fabric. "I do have to take you dress shopping instead of Cristina." She mutters, and I laugh.

"I'm more fun than Aunt Cristina, right?" I giggle, even though I know Aunt Cristina can be heaps of fun, especially when she makes me watch the surgery tape when they pull the guy's face off.

"The girl has good taste," the assistant says, and I smile, my head held high.

"Best shopping buddy," Mama winks at me and accepts the various dresses the woman is giving her.

We move to the changing rooms, and I watch my Mama go in and out of the little cubicle, each time wearing something different and looking every time prettier. When it's the turn of the blue dress I have seen, she's smiling so widely she has never looked prettier.

"This is it," she says simply, cringing a little at the price tag, but then she shrugs. "Daddy won't be mad if we go a little over the planned budget, right?"

"You look like a princess, Mama." I admit, because only Disney princesses could look as pretty as my Mama in that dress.

"Do you want a pretty dress too?" The assistant asks me, and I shrug.

"I don't have to go with Mama to the ball. I have a pretty dress already. It even has a crown."

The girl smiles, and Mama emerges again from the changing room, again in her jeans and henley shirt, and she's still looking prettier than any other person in the shop.

She pays for the dress, then we head out for ice cream. Because Mama always takes me out for ice cream when we have a girls' day out. We wanted to stay in the city a little more, but it starts drizzling, so we have to get home.

We take the ferry, and we head on the deck when it stops raining. It is all misty and humid and I snuggle closer to Mama, who picks me up and sits me on the railing. I wrap my legs around her like a little girl, and there we stay.

"Mama?" I whisper, my voice getting lost in the warmth of her waterproof jacket.

"What is it, Zo?"

"You make me feel so safe." I admit, and she tightens her arms around me. "I had a good time today."

"Me too. The dress you picked is beautiful."

"Daddy's gonna think you're a princess." I giggle.

"I hope so."

Our breaths mix with the wind as I shiver a little. Mama pulls me closer to her, and she's so warm and soft I almost forget all about the rain.

"Did you and Daddy had fight last night?"

"Oh, Zola." She whispers, and I almost regret asking it. "We fight sometimes, but we always make up."

"I know." I nod, but I am the one who tightens her hold on her. "Did you fight about me and my shunt?"

"No." She replies firmly. "We fought because we are grown-ups, and we get tired and stressed, so we lash out to the people we love the most. You have nothing to do with that."

"But, -"

"No buts, baby." Her voice is firm, just like her lips on my forehead, then it softens: "It's time to get back to the car, we're almost docking."

I nod, and I let her help me jump back on deck. We head home singing along -out of tune- to Mama's favorite CD, the sad moment forgotten.

Daddy and Bailey are still out fishing when we take off our humid clothes and wear our lounging things. We decide to read a chapter of a book together, as the rain keeps coming and going outside.

I let Mama hold the book as I follow the lines with my finger and try to read every word. She helps me out when I struggle and she grins brightly when we close the very last page, then she lets me choose a DVD to watch together. I pick out Nemo, but I'm enjoying more the snuggling on the couch with Mama than the cartoon.

"You're softer than Daddy." I blurt, as my cheek rests above her breast, and she giggles.

"Daddy's scratchy in the evening, uh?"

"No, here he's not." I retort, pointing to the juncture of her neck and shoulder. Mama hums in agreement. "You like to snuggle there too when you hug him."

"Your Daddy is pretty huggable."

It is my turn to nod and giggle. "He's not so scratchy there and it feels safe, just like when I'm with you."

We keep watching the film in silence, and when I feel my eyes drooping, Bailey and Daddy come back. They go have quick showers before they join us on the couch, and I'm quick to settle on Daddy's lap, while Bailey claims Mama for himself.

I smirk when I rest my nose in the spot I described to Mama, breathing in the smell of shower gel and woods. Mama then settles in the same spot I claimed for myself, just on the other side. Daddy encircles us all with his bigger arms and he includes Bailey too, placing a kiss on each of our heads, his cheek now resting flush against Mama's hair, his warm breath tickling my hair.

And that's how it feels the safest of it all, when we are all together like this, like a family.

* * *

**Alright, did you guys enjoy this slightly experimental piece?**

**I have to be honest, the idea of a child's POV came to me while I read _Independent People _by Halldór Laxness, an Icelandic author I studied for an exam last year, and it was fueled when I read _Call It Sleep_ by Henry Roth. Also, the whole bit about the soft spot under Derek's chin was adapted from a thought one of the characters has in the first book. It's a long one, boring at traits, but I definitely want to read it when I have more time, so I can enjoy it fully without the pending crux of an exam over my shoulder. They both are good books, if you have time to read._  
_**

**The whole conversation about buying a dolphin was taken straight from my own personal quotes, I just wanted a killer whale instead of a dolphin, but we apparently have very interesting supermarkets in Italy. Yeah, I was a really crazy child -not that I changed much now that I'm legally recognized as an adult ;)**

**What else? I know this was not a Hope update, but at least it was something to get you all through this week. The new chapter is halfway written, so you'll probably get an update before New Year's (?). Thank you for being so patient with both my crazy schedule and my neverending rambling. Thank you for reading, knowing you're out there, enjoying this story makes my Christmas even better.**

**Check out the CD, check out the books, and spend time with your loved ones during this holiday season.**

**Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!**

**-I**


End file.
